Naraío Nazóm

O blog da xente de Naraío, estea onde estea...

15.11.06

Concentrarse no corte ( e II)


Habíache tempiño que non andabamos por aquí...pero iso non significa que morresemos, nin tampouco o noso bló. Xa sabedes que somos xente ocupada e que é moi dificil atender esta leira como sería debido. Pero bueno, estamos aquí de novo para achegarvos a ansiada segunda entrega do exitoso post Concentrarse no corte.

Hoxe imos centrarnos no deseño dos inodoros para que vexades ata que punto hai pobos máis adiantados ca nós que foron capaces de evitar as salpicaduras inherentes a unha deposición que se precipita desde as alturas a un pequeno burato con auga.

Ben, o da auga é un dicir porque todo o mundo sabe que cando un ten necesidade de facer de ventre as ganas adoitan xuntarse coas de facer de vexiga. A cousa ten o seu aquel. Se sentas no inodoro e depositas nel, o normal é que as nádegas se che mollen por causa do impacto das excrecións contra o reservorio de auga que tés xusto na vertical do burato do cú. Non pasa nada, é auga limpa e transparente ou, como moito, tinguida de desinfectante azul. Ata aí todo ben, colles papel e de paso que te limpas tamén enxugas as cachas.

Aaaaaaaaa, haaaaaaaa! Pero que pasa cando xa estás en posición e empezas a mexar?. Peor aínda, que pasa cando xa estas mexando e a criatura fai forza para saír ao mesmo tempo?. Menudo trance. O dos ouriños é inevitable e o outro tamén. És consciente de que non vas poder conterte máis e de que vas mollar o cú....¡con auga mexada!. Dios que cousa máis estarrecedora (como diría un do beenejé).

Témonos visto nesa tesitura centos de veces e a única solución de urxencia que se nos ocorreu foi a de facer unha rápida contorsión do espiñazo que achegase o cú todo o posible ao borde da taza para que as feces caesen na louza e non na auga. A situación é esperpéntica: estás sentado no retrete co rabo no medio das pernas -en sentido literal-, esmágalo ao botarte para adiante correndo o risco de mexar polo que pendura e, para máis suplicio, aventúraste a quedar preso das costas sen te poder mover e cos pantalóns baixados. Non lle preguntamos a ningunha muller, pero supoñemos que o problema será o mesmo ou incluso peor pola súa imposibilidade física para dirixir a traxectoria da micción non sendo con movementos que impliquen a todo o corpo.

Pois ben, noutros sitios máis adiantados ca nós en materia de política, relixión e tecnoloxía, xa hai moito tempo que déron coa solución para un problema ben embarazoso, anque sexa na intimidade. Fixádevos nas seguintes dúas figuras que vos presentamos.



O deseño da dereita correspóndese cun wc dos que temos por aquí en case todas as casas, aínda que nalgunha seguro que se poden atopar deses de pisada de astronauta coma o que hai na foto que encabeza este artigo. Se analisades o debuxo veredes que este retrete da dereita ten o burato situado xusto por debaixo do lugar que ocuparía o burato do cú. De aí que se produzan molladuras o 99% das veces, xa sexan de auga limpa, de auga con pato-wc ou de auga con diossabequé.

Fixádevos agora no deseño do retrete da esquerda. Observade que o burato está moi retrasado, case debaixo da cisterna e, o que é máis importante, fóra da traxectoria de calquera proxectil intestinal. Aínda tentando mollarse á mantenta é tecnicamente imposible, as deposicións sempre caen no seco. Este váter é alemán e en Alemaña todos os váteres son así, co desaugue desprazado. A coña é que isto non é novo. Xa a Bauhaus de Walter Gropius reparou neste asunto e fixo os primeiros prototipos aló polos anos 20 partindo do invento de Thomas Crapper. Daquela a nosa tecnoloxía sanitaria só era unha trapela que comunicaba coa corte ou, no peor dos casos, consistía simplemente en botarlle a man a un fieito de estrume para obrar directamente sobre o chan.

Algún de vós -ferido seguramente por este último comentario-, ha tentar rebatirme co argumento de que, se os excrementos caen na louza, os retretes alemáns hai que limpalos sempre con esa escobiña que para moitos é un obxecto decorativo. Pois non, ese argumento non vale. É máis, os inodoros xermanos están tan ben deseñados que só fai falla tirar da cadea para poder comer neles unhas sopas. Volvede mirar o debuxo fixándovos no corte transversal de ambos os dous retretes. Marcamos en vermello o factor diferencial máis importante dos dous deseños.



A imaxe da esquerda -a do váter alemán- ten unha superficie horizontal lixeiramente curvada cara abaixo, mentres que o da dereita -o noso- cae case en picado ata o desaugadoiro. Pois ben, nese lugar é onde a física obra a súa miragre. Sen meternos en fonduras, dirémosvos que hai un teorema dun tal Bernoulli que fala dos fluídos, da velocidade e da presión. Buscádeo en google, que para iso está. Cando tiramos da cadea do váter da esquerda -o alemán- a auga baixa e nesa concavidade prodúcese unha diferencia de presión e de velocidade que arrinca limpamente o froito do noso interior. No caso do retrete da dereita -o de toda a vida- a auga baixa coa mesma presión e velocidade coa que sae da cisterna e non fai esforzo ningún por levar o que hai alí pegado. E dicimos pegado porque nos váteres alemáns as cagallas -tiñamos que dicir cagalla porque se nos acabaron os sinónimos- non caen, senón que se pousan suavemente como saídas dunha manga pasteleira, mentres que nos nosos os zurullos baten con forza, esmáganse e esfarrápanse contra da superficie nívea por causa da velocidade que collen a razón de 9'8 m/s2. E despois, claro, hai que andar coa escobiña ou cunha trencha se é que o recebo marrón ten soleira.

Velaí unha razón máis para convencérmonos de que aínda non somos europeos ao cento por cento. Non sería nigunha fachenda, xa que os ingleses tampouco o son e aínda están máis adiantados ca os alemáns. Algún día habemos explicarvos de que maneira lograron os británicos non manchar nunca a tapa do váter coa gotiña.

Ala, de hoxe nun ano e antes daló moitas veces (esperemos).

152 Comentarios:

At 1:43 p. m., Blogger Cesare said...

Non sei se será un problema particular ou colectivo, pero sempre tiven grandes problemas cos váteres alemáns. É verdade que quedan limpos sen moita necesidade de atacarlles con vasoiriñas, pero tamén me ten ocorrido frecuentemente que as pezas grandes apozan nesa cavidade inicial. É dicir, que aínda que hai presión abonda para arrincar as folerpas, non dá para mover as cagallas de gran tamaño.

É iso así sempre? Tédelo comprobado nos vosos experimentos?

 
At 8:38 p. m., Anonymous Anónimo said...

Home, como case todo eu diría que depende do animal. Os alemáns son bós enxeñeiros, pero onde caga unha mula parda non limpa nin dios.

 
At 7:04 a. m., Anonymous Anónimo said...

O que di cesare e certo, o w.c. centroeuropeo está ben para algunhas cousas, pero tamen e ben certo que os zurullos grandes estáncanse nesa primeira cavidade wateril.

Unha solución pode ser concentrarse ben no corte, como non, pero ademais do corte natural que o noso "pandeiro" nos insta a facer, probade a facerlle outro corte antes, a iso de metade de zurullo, coa fin de que sexa mais levadeiro para a auga o estar troceado en pezas mais pequenas.

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